


Kintsukuroi

by Felle



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Gentle femdom, Modeling, Non-Canon Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-14 02:00:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14760477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felle/pseuds/Felle
Summary: Ch. 1: Sae hasn't ever modeled for anything. She didn't think she ever would either, considering the injuries that made everyone around her treat her like something broken and ugly. But she trusts Yusuke.Ch. 2: Sae and Yusuke, now married, enjoy their anniversary.





	1. Kintsukuroi

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jtav](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jtav/gifts).



> So these were some work I did for a friend of mine, where Sae is modeling for Yusuke in spite of, or perhaps because of, some serious burns covering the right side of her body which cause her some mobility and self-esteem issues. And then the second one is largely unrelated to that, but it occurs in the same verse, so I combined them into a single story. I hope you enjoy!

It always tried her nerves, going somewhere new.

Sae had never been to this neighborhood of Shibuya before, a shopping district radiating a few streets outward from the Hachikō memorial where Yusuke’s preferred art supply store stood, a plain beige building sandwiched between a bank and a restaurant. It was a mercifully short walk from the station’s east exit, though she still felt every step as she figured out where to put her cane down, deciding in split seconds if this or that patch of ground was sturdy enough to help support her weight.

The people, too…Sae wouldn’t have called them a problem, but she got her fair share of looks any day, more so when she deviated from her usual routine. Even with a scarf and gloves covering her neck and hands, there was still the stretch of old scarring from her jaw to her temple, and the odd gait from her burns that forced her to use the cane.

She tried not to think about any of that, and focused instead on the way Yusuke’s normally-impassive expression brightened as they walked inside. Rows and rows of narrow aisles dominated the space, each shelf packed to the brim with brushes and canvases and paints in more colors than Sae could fathom. Yusuke started to hurry off into the labyrinth, but caught himself and turned around to wait for her to follow.

“You like this place, don’t you?” Sae asked as they went down one of the rows with easels and canvases in various materials. Sae didn’t see a great deal of difference between any of them, but then, she wasn’t going to be using any.

“It’s one of my favorite stores, they have enough space to carry some of the shades the others can’t.” Yusuke picked up a basket from a stack by the endcap and tucked one canvas under his arm before making for the paints. He occasionally looked back at Sae, studying her closely before each selection. “Hmm, silver chain…no, too light. Half moon crest? Ah, horizon!”

He plucked one tube of grayish paint from the shelf that looked very much like all the other tubes of grayish paint to Sae, then moved on to darker fare to repeat the process. “At least let me hold the canvas,” Sae said, and held out her free hand.

“Are you sure?”

“Come on, it’s not like I can’t hold things. At least while you’re picking out colors.”

Yusuke did hand it over after a moment, and Sae flexed her arm twice to show that she didn’t have any problem carrying it. _Yet_ , she thought. Most of the time her wounds manifested not as sharp things pricking at her skin, but in the way the right half of her body tired out quicker and easier than the left. Still, the canvas wasn’t all that heavy, she could have carried it with only her little finger if she wanted to. Sae was careful not to let it touch the floor as Yusuke sampled more paints.

“Would you say your skin tone is more puppy paws or dusty trail?”

“I think Makoto said I was a summer once…?”

“This one, then,” he said, and took one from the shelf. Sae shifted her weight to her cane.

“Sorry I can’t be of more help.”

“You being here so that I can make color comparisons is a great help already,” Yusuke said absently, before turning around to pick out new brushes and a palette. “I have to make some adjustments since the harsh fluorescence here isn’t like the lighting conditions I’ll be using, but that’s why I have some extra white and black. I only wish the tubes felt nicer, though.”

“The tubes? You mean for the paint?”

He nodded as he settled on a brush. “They have a very squishing, cold, almost wet feeling. The paint is just fine, but squeezing it out…I could do without that.”

Once Yusuke was satisfied with what he’d picked out, they paid for his purchases and led Sae back out to the sidewalk, with Yusuke taking back the canvas and tucking everything into a single large bag. The station was as busy as every other in Shibuya, and getting on the train to Yongen was an exercise in nudging people aside as politely as they could. Sae may have moved her cane a bit swifter than was necessary, but it did get them some standing room before the train doors closed.

“You can lean on me, if you’d like,” Yusuke said as the train started to move.

“You wouldn’t mind?”

He shook his head. Sae mumbled out some thanks and rested her free hand on Yusuke’s shoulder, wincing at the tightness stretching the outside of her forearm thin. She preferred the off-hours for riding the subway, when there were more open seats and fewer sidelong looks. A quick ruffle of her hair moved one tress over the worst of her facial burns, and Yusuke’s lips pressed into a frown.

“I wish you didn’t feel like you have to hide.”

Sae cocked her head and offered him a weak smile in return. “You’re sweet.”

They managed to press their way to the exit when the train arrived in Yongen, where the escalator had been switched off for repairs. Sae let out a long breath and took the stairs instead, grimacing each time she saw Yusuke slow his pace to wait for her. Too sweet, she thought, much too sweet to be whiling away his vacation on her. Surely there was no shortage of nice girls at Kosei, perhaps it would just be best to end this whole thing, for his sake if nothing else—

Her foot came down in an awkward way, twisting out from under her as her breath escaped. Sae threw one hand out toward the top step, but she never ended up doing more than brushing the edge with her fingertips. Yusuke eased her up from where he’d caught her, and drew his hand away from her shoulder only once he was sure she was upright and not likely to fall again. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah, thank you…just took a bad step, I guess.” Sae dusted herself off while her heart rate came back down to normal and people started flowing around them again. “Come on, we can’t stand here, let’s go to the café.”

With Akira out for the day and enjoying his freedom again, only Sakura and his daughter were in Leblanc, discussing the finer points of what constituted curry when they walked in. They were so engrossed in their conversation that neither of them seemed to notice Sae and Yusuke taking the booth farthest from the door, at least until Sakura brought over two cups of coffee before going right back to his debate.

“It was nice of Kurusu to let us borrow his room,” Sae said, and sipped at her coffee. She could never tell the difference between all the blends lining the wall behind the counter, but the warmth soothed her nerves somewhat. Decaf. Probably better not to have anything that might excite her further. Yusuke let his cool for a moment while he took out one of the new brushes she’d bought him. “I didn’t pull you away from some group activity, did I?”

“No, nothing like that. He was laconic on the phone about what he was doing, but he said we had until the evening at least. I know I’ve asked already, but…” Yusuke twirled the brush in his hand, letting it turn on the edge of his first finger three times before grasping it again. “I want to make sure you’re still all right with this. It’s fine if not, just say the word and I can find another model—”

“Hey. Take a breath.” Sae waited for him to collect himself before going on. “I volunteered, remember? It might not be the kind of thing I normally do, or anything close to what I normally do, but I want to help you out. And Makoto says you’re a great artist, but the only chance I’ve had to see your work is in an evidence crate from the Madarame exhibit, so I’m curious. Think of it like we’re helping each other out.”

“Right, of course. Just a bit nervous.”

Sae couldn’t say she felt any differently, though she didn’t voice that. The outfit she’d chosen that morning rubbed in unfamiliar ways under her jacket, and a part of her dreaded laying herself bare like this, the same part that whispered in her ear to keep covered up around others and buy no end of products to cover the burns on her hand and face. Still, a promise was a promise. They nursed their drinks while eavesdropping on the curry debate, until they really couldn’t put it off any longer. Sae left some money for the coffee even though she was sure it would be returned later and followed Yusuke upstairs, silently cursing whoever had built the place for making such a steep climb.

Yusuke took a spare easel from one corner and set it up, but left the fresh canvas in his bag in favor of going to the windows and adjusting the blinds. Sae eased down onto the sofa while he played with the light, stepping back to the middle of the room every few seconds to see if his adjustment worked. Once he was satisfied, he arranged one chair facing the window, and moved the easel so that he wouldn’t block the light.

“All set?” Sae asked.

“Yes, whenever you’re ready.”

He became very interested in the floor as Sae shrugged off her jacket and set it aside. She had to use only her good hand to remove her blouse and camisole, throwing all the burns on her side not covered by black lace on brazen display. Before she could start turning away out of reflex, Sae did away with her shoes and slacks as well, until all she had left was her lingerie. “You can look, you know,” she said, and went over to the chair he’d set up for her. “You’re going to have to.”

Sae still felt her face burn when he turned back to her, even more so when his gaze tracked down to the parts of her burns he hadn’t seen before. It was almost amusing, revealing herself like this to her boyfriend under such strange circumstances, but mostly it was taxing her threshold for embarrassment. “Well then…shall we get started? Please find a pose that’s comfortable for you.”

“Are you sure this is the side you want to capture?” Sae asked, sweeping her hand over the right half of her body. “It’s not exactly, you know, model material.”

“It’s important to the piece, I promise.”

Once she’d found the easiest pose to hold, an obvious change came over Yusuke. Where his movements were typically a bit unsure, now they were anything but, gliding from task to task as he set up the canvas and began to make a charcoal sketch. His usual aversion to prolonged eye contact, too, fell by the wayside while he studied her as a subject, making note of the angles of her body and where the light fell. It made something twinge pleasantly in her stomach to see his confidence with his work. She hoped that some of that would eventually carry over to their dates and courtship, but for now it was enough to see it when he was absorbed in his art.

“The basic sketch is done,” he announced and leaned back in his chair to look at the whole thing at once. “I’m going to mix the paints now, would you like to stretch?”

“No, I’m fine like this. It’s not too different from how I sit at my desk. Only…it’s a little cold.”

Yusuke stopped in the middle of filling his palette, and suddenly all the confidence was gone again. He apologized over and over as he pulled a space heater over and set it as high as it would go, twirling his fingers even without a brush to hold. Sae took his hand. “Don’t worry about it, it was warmer when we started. Sakura had the stove going or something. Just…relax a little, okay? It’s not the end of the world.”

He nodded and squeezed her hand, giving her an understated little smile before going back to his seat. His shoulders squared as he finished preparing the paints and started to put it down on the canvas.

Despite her assurances, the pose wasn’t something she could hold forever, and Sae regretted not taking the break when her back started growing uncomfortable. “Is that stretching offer still on the table?” she asked.

“Table…? Oh, yes, of course. Take all the time you need, I’ll go and clean my brush.”

Yusuke slipped down the stairs, giving Sae some privacy while she stood and shook the fatigue out of her back and arms. She touched at the angry raised burns going down her side, felt the alternation between numbness and oversensitization, and frowned. This was a silly idea. Yusuke was skilled, true, but there was only so flattering he could be without delving into outright fiction. She slumped back into the seat and pinched the bridge of her nose to keep tears from welling up and ruining her mascara.

There were footsteps on the stairs, and Sae tried her best to compose herself as Yusuke strolled back to his easel. He was about to sit down when he saw the few defiant tears that had slipped down Sae’s cheek. “What’s wrong?” he asked, and stepped over to the sofa to retrieve her handkerchief. “Is the pose uncomfortable?”

“I’m sorry I backed you into a corner by volunteering for this,” Sae said. She tried to take her handkerchief from him, but Yusuke knelt down and carefully dabbed at her tears himself, long fingers brushing on her cheek. He cocked his head. “I should have realized that I’m not exactly…well, look at me. I’m no model.”

“I _have_ been looking at you. And you’re being an excellent model. I, ah—forgive me, I’m not very good with words. Are you all right to continue, or would you like to stop?”

“No, let’s keep going. I don’t want to make you waste your canvas.”

“It’s only fabric.”

Still, Yusuke set her handkerchief back on the sofa arm and took his seat again. Sae got back into her pose and tried to mimic her previous expression as best she could. They were both silent throughout, apart from their chairs creaking when they shifted their weight, which left Sae’s mind to wander. As warped as it was, she missed the grating little voice in her head that told her to excel at everything she did, that left no room for insecurity. Some of that confidence would be helpful now, Sae thought.

But Yusuke and his friends had silenced it, and she was left facing the creeping anxiety that she wasn’t going to be good enough, that he and Makoto and everyone else were going to leave her behind, limping with her cane as she tried to keep up. And yet…he always came back for her. It didn’t matter how she slowed him down, Yusuke always doubled back or waited when he outpaced her. As long as someone was willing to come back to her, Sae thought, she would be all right. She hoped her smile wasn’t going to mess up the composition of his piece.

The light outside seemed almost ready to change when Yusuke set down his brush and let out a long breath he’d been holding in. “Thank you for your patience, Sae- _san_. You can get dressed now, I just want to put some finishing touches on the background.”

His focus narrowed down to the painting again while Sae went and got her clothes. He wasn’t looking at her, and she knew that, but her face still flushed as she buttoned her pants and stepped into her shoes. Sae fought the urge to walk behind him once she was dressed and watch his process, and sat on the sofa instead, subtly taking some lotion from her purse to soothe the burns on her hand. She waited, and waited, and waited until Yusuke was satisfied with his finishing touches and stood up to stretch his hands. “Can I look yet?” Sae asked, twirling her cane in place.

“By all means.”

Yusuke stepped back, and Sae came over to inspect the work. Her lips parted in surprise. He had rendered her in very muted tones, especially the silvery achromotrichia of her hair, almost gray in some places apart from where the light hit her skin. The burns, though…they were done in a bright, lustrous yellow, like veins of gold breaking through the dull earth around them. Even though the lingerie was eye-catching in its own right, the way he’d framed her scars and the way they provided light to the surrounding skin demanded the viewer’s attention. “This is…”

“Before, you told me that you’ve always been objectified, one way or another,” Yusuke said. Sae pressed her free hand over her mouth. “Either desire or revulsion. I thought, what if I combined the two? What if I forced them to recognize the intrinsic beauty of what made them turn away? Scars tell stories. Even if they’re unhappy stories, it’s not right to try and force them into the shadows.”

Sae didn’t bother trying to hold back her tears. She let them fall and burn their way down her cheeks without a care as she looked at his painting. “You made me look beautiful,” Sae mumbled.

“You _are_ beautiful.”

He started a little when Sae hugged him, but then wrapped his arms around her waist, careful not to press on any of her scars. Yusuke was about her height, maybe a bit taller when she wasn’t wearing heels, and he was able to rest his chin in the crook of her shoulder with ease. Sae stroked between his shoulder blades, always mindful of where their relationship could and couldn’t go, until he eased back with a brilliant red blush and his lower lip worried between his teeth. “Sae- _san_ …may I kiss you?”

His lips were soft and warm and unsure, a tentative foray into her space that she happily matched. Sae tightened her grasp on Yusuke and ran a hand into his hair, tucking it behind his ear and out of her way. Her heart thrummed with trepidation. Yusuke’s leg knocked against hers and he broke away to sit down, overwhelmed with sensation. Sae gave him no time to rest, though. Her cane clattered to the ground as she descended on him, nestling into his lap to nip at his neck and sink her hands into his shoulders.

“You’re so sweet, you really are,” Sae said when his hands stayed chastely on her back. Her eyes stung again. “Too sweet for your own good.”

Eventually—though not before Sae had acquainted herself with all the soft, sensitive spots on Yusuke’s throat—they remembered that they were guests in someone else’s space. Sae leaned away for some air while Yusuke retrieved her cane, then got to her feet so he could stand. “How fast does that oil dry?” she asked with a nod toward his painting. The golds shone in the fading light from the window, making them stand out further against the grays.

“It needs some time to set. Can I interest you in some curry in the meantime, Sae- _san_?”

“We’ll have to hope they’ve finished arguing by now…”

He took her free hand, scars and all, and guided her to the stairs.


	2. An Emperor's Judgment

“You seem preoccupied.”

Yusuke shook himself out of his reverie and set his glass down. Sae cocked her head from across the table, chin resting on her steepled fingers, cherry-red lips broadening into a smile. The dining room’s diffuse lighting bathed her in soft illumination, and he couldn’t imagine wanting to focus on anything else around them. He looked down at the table with a blush growing over his cheeks. “I…I can’t help appreciating your outfit,” Yusuke said, fussing with his hands in his lap. “It becomes you so well, I almost feel underdressed in comparison.”

Whatever compliments he might have paid her, Yusuke was sure he was understating the vision she made for, simply sitting there in all her poise and grace. Her deep blue gown hugged her body and arms until the sleeves widened out and rested over her wrists with shimmering silver trim. The neckline dipped down to show the barest hint of cleavage and her ruby necklace before it soared upward and framed her neck, cradling the burns on the right side without pressing down on them. In contrast, his western suit seemed so plain and pedestrian. He fixed his tie until Sae offered her good hand and he took it, resting his thumb over her wedding ring.

“You look lovely to me,” Sae said, letting her gaze trail down from his lips, roaming the dips and angles of the fabric.

“I think you might be biased.”

The corners of Sae’s lips tugged upward, a tiny smile that would pass beneath most people’s notice. Not his. “I might be.”

When their waitress arrived, Sae picked the wine and ordered for him, as she usually did. Yusuke couldn’t say he minded not having to comb through a six-page menu and a wine list full of names he would mispronounce. She knew what he liked anyway, and had a better command of European food besides. He would have been happy with ramen, but somehow he knew that wouldn’t do, not tonight.

“It’s good that we were able to get away from the gallery opening without too much trouble,” Yusuke said as he swirled the fresh wine in his glass. It was a deep red, almost opaque, with a subtle bouquet of oak and what seemed to him like cherry. He set it down without a testing sip. “All those reporters…thank you for getting me out of there when you did.”

“Well, it’s only natural that they’d want to talk to you, it _is_ your show. And you give them so few opportunities to ask any questions, the mobbing was almost inevitable.” Sae sat back and lapsed into niceties as the waitress delivered their food. His was some kind of filet, lightly seared, on a bed of saffron rice. Special occasion food. His wife leaned in once they were alone again and lowered her voice to a languid, husky drawl. “I’m glad I was able to steal you away from them, though. It might be greedy, but I wanted you all to myself for the rest of the night.”

His heart thumped. Sae went casually back to cutting her fish while Yusuke bit his lip and nervous energy coalesced into a whirlpool below his belly. How well she could tease and taunt, leave him hanging on a few words while his mind ran wild playing out possibilities! Yusuke brushed some hair back over his shoulder and picked up his knife and fork.

Much as he tried to keep the rest of their dinner conversation light and away from more prurient fare, it was all too easy for a momentary, predatory glance from Sae to paint his face red and derail his train of thought. She looked…hungry, despite the food they were enjoying. Yusuke felt all at once that his clothes were little more than a sheet draped over a painting, lightly hung and waiting for someone to come by and pull it away. He swallowed his anticipation along with some wine.

“There you go, off in your own head again. Sometimes I wonder what it’s like in there,” Sae said with a fuller smile as their waitress returned. “We’ll split the cheesecake, please.”

Sae looked through her purse once the waitress cleared away their plates, and Yusuke leaned forward in curiosity. “But before dessert…” She produced a pair of tickets between her fingers. “I managed to find two passes to that exhibition of Ming Dynasty art in Macau next month.”

His eyes went wide as she slid the tickets across the table. That shouldn’t have been possible, he’d raked through his own contacts in the art world for weeks looking for those, to no avail. Yusuke picked them up and turned them over in his hand. Of course, with the benefit of hindsight, he realized that he’d been asking people who would have safeguarded their own tickets. “How—where—?”

“I’m shocked at your surprise, I’m very resourceful. A friend in their prosecutor’s office sent them along. And I was able to get the week off, so we won’t have to rush. We can enjoy the exhibition, see the sights…maybe even do a bit of gambling at the casinos there,” she said with a small chuckle. “Or maybe not.”

It had taken several years after telling her about her palace, but now she seemed to be able to laugh about it, the garishness of the casino and her shadow’s clothing that Yusuke had drawn for her once. And now, healing as she was, she could make a joke or two about it. Yusuke handed the tickets back to her, still hardly daring to believe that they were real. “Why do you spoil me so much?”

“Because I love to see you happy.”

“Thank you, Sae- _san_ …”

He was still working to mentally accommodate the trip in his head when their dessert came, a thick wedge of marbled cheesecake that almost looked too well-made to eat. Regardless, Yusuke separated a piece with the edge of his fork and offered it to Sae, who leaned forward to let him feed her. Her eyes fell shut as she savored the taste, almost wavering back and forth in her seat, then took her own fork to do the same for him. Yusuke took the cake from her fork and sighed in contentment, letting the flavors play out on his tongue before he cut a piece for himself. They were finished in short order, nudging the last bit between themselves a few times, before Sae insisted and Yusuke acquiesced, taking the final bite. “Delicious,” he said. “An excellent choice, as always.”

“I try. Shall we go, or should we get some coffee? Maybe watch the rest of the restaurant and wait for inspiration to strike?”

Yusuke shook his head. “I’m sure the coffee we have at home is better, anyway. And I think it was decided that I was taking the rest of the night off, no?”

“Well, don’t count yourself out of it just yet,” Sae said in her lowered voice as she stood and tucked her chair back in. “I think there still might be some work for you tonight.”

His legs felt a bit weaker, suddenly.

They stepped out onto the street after settling the bill, and Yusuke took up his usual position on Sae’s right side, where her burns were concentrated. Not that she needed the protection—he’d seen firsthand the withering glares she could use to repay any gawking and the comebacks she had ready for any smart remarks—but it seemed to set her at ease, so he did it. That walking closer to the traffic was the chivalrous thing to do was merely a bonus. Her arm wrapped around his to keep him close on the cool autumn night, and the stiff texture of her palm brushed against his until he laced their fingers together. It seemed to have been a mercifully pain-free day, though he could feel her favoring her left side somewhat while using his arm for support.

That was fine with him.

Still, there was no reason for her to tough it out just to keep her pride. “Should we get a taxi?” Yusuke asked, but Sae brushed him off.

“The station’s right around the corner. Don’t worry, I’m not going to break.”

“Oh, I know.”

Yusuke thought he was going to get recognized on the station platform, though he found that putting his hair up, and Sae leaning possessively into his side, did much to dissuade any fans. She chuckled as she scrolled through her phone. “The press thinks you were kidnapped,” she said, and held up the screen so he could read the article. “I suppose I should turn myself into the police then, shouldn’t I?”

Her joke couldn’t overcome the way his expression darkened as he read. “Ten years later and they still have to call me Madarame’s former student…I always wonder when that’s going to end.”

“Oh.” Sae took her phone back and reached up to stroke his cheek. Her left hand had a markedly different texture, smooth at her fingertips and tougher where her briefcase handle or case folders rested. Her thumb drifted away and pressed at his lower lip. “They’ll twist over themselves to use an established name, you know that. And you’re ten times the artist he ever was.”

He tilted his head to rest his cheek in Sae’s hair. “Thank you. The train’s here.”

They were fortunate enough to find seats, which left Yusuke free to take out his own phone and dress down the article’s author in its comments— _I was not kidnapped, I went to dinner with my wife. These pastiches of journalism are why I avoid the press_ —before Sae decided to play with his fingers, flexing and curling each of them in turn.

“How did you get paint on you today?” she asked, scratching at a few flecks of blue with her thumbnail. “You weren’t even painting.”

“I may have touched up a piece before the gallery opening…”

“You may have?” Sae asked.

Yusuke shrugged. “I may have. And it might have been the one showing the sunrise on Tori-shima.”

“Such a hard worker, my husband.”

It was a short walk through Hiroo to their building, where the usual bustle in the lobby had faded with the late hour. They were able to stroll to the elevator unaccosted once they picked up their mail, and as Sae leaned back into his chest while she thumbed through the letters, another bout of nerves struck Yusuke. He knew what his wife enjoyed, and he enjoyed providing it, but he couldn’t help the knot of excited apprehension that tied tight in his stomach every time. Yusuke rested one hand on Sae’s shoulder and squeezed. “I love you,” he whispered.

She turned, but stayed pressed up to him. “What’s that for?”

“Merely the truth.”

Sae smiled, stood on her toes, and lightly kissed his cheek. It didn’t matter that he was taller now, she was always going to feel somehow bigger than him. “I love you, too,” Sae said, the warmth from her breath rolling across his ear.

The picture lights in their apartment came on before the main ones, illuminating their private collection in isolation for a moment before the rest of the living room came into view. _Private_ in the sense that Yusuke had never felt the need to display them publicly, at any rate. Sae left her purse and the mail on the credenza, then pulled him inside along with her, shutting them away from the world with a _click_ of the lock in the door. “A nightcap?” she asked, drifting into the kitchen.

“Just sake, please.”

“Sake it is.” Sae poured two glasses and led Yusuke over to the couch, where he could finally let his hair out, only for Sae to run her fingers through it. He let her play while he sipped at his drink, relishing the way her hand would brush over the nape of his neck every so often and linger there for a moment, squeezing, moving him ever so slightly. Yusuke trembled and set his drink aside. “Come here,” Sae said, and eased his head down onto her lap. He looked at one of his older paintings of her on the wall, the one he’d done at Leblanc with her burns rendered in gold, then closed his eyes as she flicked at his hair. “Tired?”

“I’m just enjoying your attentions.” One of his hands drifted over his stomach to try and still the nerves there, but they only grew stronger as her thumb traced the ridge of his ear. “I…the anticipation always preys on my mind. Sometimes it feels very real, even though I know you’d never hurt me.”

“No, never,” Sae said, and tapped his arm twice. Yusuke sat up and relaxed into her embrace, draping one hand across her waist as she pressed her cheek to his shoulder. It was an awkward way to bring things up, but he doubted there would be a better time, and she was always prodding him to communicate more in ways that didn’t involve paint. “Should we do something else tonight?”

“But I know how much you like this. And I like it, too.”

Yusuke propped himself up on one knee and swung his other leg forward so that he was in Sae’s lap. Her gaze tracked downward from his eyes to his lips, her own pressing into a smirk, while he rested his hands on her shoulders and invited her forward.

She was always a tentative kisser, favoring her left side until Yusuke eased her back to the center. He wouldn’t let her shroud herself with him. One arm snaked around his waist and pulled him forward, pressing him closer to her as she parted her lips. A satisfied little moan cracked out of her throat, and Yusuke’s hands tightened on her shoulders. When they broke apart for air, Yusuke’s face burned, and Sae smiled when a shift of his hips pressed his arousal into her thigh. “Should we go to bed?” Sae asked, reaching up to stroke some hair from Yusuke’s face.

“Let’s.”

Yusuke shuffled back to stand and stepped aside so Sae could do the same. Her hand settled possessively on the small of his back, but she didn’t try to step toward the hall yet. “Your safeword?” she asked.

His thoughts were a haze as her hand pressed warmly through the fabric of his jacket, and it was all he could do to focus for a moment and decide. “Carmine,” he said. Sae gave him a small, crooked grin.

“I think _red_ is still the standard…but all right, carmine. Right this way, Mr. Niijima.”

Sae led him down the hall to their bedroom, giving Yusuke the opportunity to watch her slip on the emotional mask she liked to wear when they did this. Her shoulders squared, her strides grew ever so slightly longer, and a cool façade of indifference came over her face. Still his wife, to be certain, but prowling, sizing up her prey as she looked sidelong at him, ready to pounce.

She set the dimmer for the bedroom lights to half-strength and locked the door behind them, pushing it shut with a _click_ that made him shudder. Yusuke turned under her direction until his back was to her, allowing Sae to hook her fingers under the lapels of his jacket and pull it free, sliding it down along his arms until it fell to the floor between them. The cool air in the room pressed through the thinner material of his shirt, leaving him to shiver until Sae’s arms wrapped around his chest and started undoing the buttons of his shirt, one by one. He looked down to watch her hands work in concert, one pale porcelain and one reddened by old burns, while her lips drifted, ghostlike, over his neck. The soft passing kisses on his skin between locks of his hair drew up gooseflesh in their wake, islands of warmth that made the desire in him simmer.

Sae held his tie while his shirt dropped away, then carefully tied the silk around his wrists behind his back. It was a simple knot, not so strong or tight that he couldn’t free himself if he tried, but he played along, making a show of struggling as Sae turned him around to run her hands greedily over the planes of his chest and stomach. Her nails raked down his skin, leaving faint red lines that coalesced at the thin trail of hair between his navel and his waistband. “You need to eat more,” Sae said coolly, more an observation than an imperative, a statement she didn’t expect an answer to.

All the same… “What should we do about that, I wonder,” Yusuke said. Sae drew one hand upward again and pressed her thumb into the soft spot beneath his chin, forcing his gaze up to hers.

“Oh, I have a few ideas.”

She slipped his belt through its loops, tossing it aside more roughly than the rest of his clothing. Yusuke tensed as the buckle hit the floor with a _clack_ , then let out a long breath as Sae undid his pants and let them fall away as well. He stepped out of the last of his clothes, blushing furiously at the disparity between himself and his still-clothed wife and the way his desire had grown so obvious. “Aren’t you eager,” Sae said, taking him in her hand with a few lazy strokes. Yusuke tried to rock his hips in counter to her movements, fighting the urge to gasp all the while, but she drew away and turned her back to him to put one hand on her vanity. She tucked her hair over her shoulder and exposed a thin seam in the middle of her gown. “Unzip me, please.”

Yusuke struggled against his makeshift restraints. His skin slipped under the silk, making escaping a more difficult prospect than he first thought. “My hands—”

“Then you’ll have to get creative, won’t you?”

Her silvery hair rested right over the zipper, and some brushed against his nose as he caught the metal between his teeth and tugged downward. The fabric parted with a faint, frictive hum that echoed through his head, exposing his wife’s smooth skin as he knelt down to reach the bottom at the small of her back.

“Good boy.”

Sae brushed the dress from her shoulders and let it fall around her feet before shuffling it away. Blood pounded in Yusuke’s ears. He watched the thin bands of muscle in her legs grow taut as she turned around, and he fought against a dry throat while they gazed at each other, him in reverence, her in amused, manufactured condescension. Small sections of her burns reflected the low light, making them seem to shine as he drank in the sight of her. He could fill himself to stupor on her beauty, he thought. Yusuke started to stand up, but she put a hand on his shoulder. “No, no,” she said, stroking his hair. Sae leaned back on the vanity and parted her legs. Then, in her lower, haughtier voice, “You’re in a perfect position already.”

Yusuke would have loved to paint some of the faces she made, though he knew she would never agree to it. He had to be content with keeping them to himself, burning them into memory one by one as he drew them out. The hand in his hair tightened, shaking as it tugged, with each fresh lash of his tongue. All the self-control Sae prided herself on slowly unraveled under his attentions: her breath hitched and grew unsteady, her legs quivered and knocked into his sides, and a desperate, needful whine filled the room to spur him on. When she had tossed her modesty aside with her clothes, a broad smile broke on her face and she watched him freely, brushing some hair from his face to see the way his head pitched and dipped. Her breaths grew shallower, more frantic, an afterthought against the winding, mounting pressure. “Yusuke—” Each syllable was little more than a gasp— “Yusuke, right there, don’t…don’t stop—!”

Her other hand flew to his shoulder to keep herself steady as she snapped, leaning forward so he could support her weight. Yusuke eased back, the taste of her still hot on his lips, and stayed obediently still while she got her balance back. It stoked a not-insignificant part of him to know that he could undo her so completely, to take the model of a consummate lawyer that was his wife and bring her down to something so primal.

Yusuke arched his back when she stood again, then clambered to his feet as she tugged him upward. Sae had to look up once more to catch his gaze with a flash of concern, then kissed him gently, brushing her lips across his. “Are you all right?” she asked. No more commands, no more icy edge on her words. Her hands skimmed down his arms and to his wrists, checking that his restraints weren’t too tight. The tips of her fingers were cool against his. Yusuke nodded, and the tiny spark of worry faded from her eyes. “Good.” The coldness had crept back into her voice, the detached air of authority. “Because I still want you.”

“You have me,” Yusuke said as her hands drew back and settled on his chest. A few light scratches drew over his skin, marks of possession, ownership. “Always.”

Sae smiled wordlessly and guided him backwards to the foot of their bed. Yusuke bumped into the edge and dropped, sitting in expectance as Sae loomed over him. She started to climb into his lap, then paused as a sting of pain twisted her mouth, matching to the stretch of the burns on her right leg. For a moment she looked away, suddenly and unpleasantly reminded of her old injuries, until she started and looked down to where Yusuke was kissing at one bit of scarring on her hip.

The burns felt different, looked different. He wouldn’t sugar his words on that score, and he knew Sae wouldn’t have stood for it anyway if he did. But that didn’t mean he liked them any less. They were smooth and cool, so very sensitive where they transitioned back to undamaged skin. Sae stroked his hair until he leaned back again and turned up to her. “Aren’t you sweet,” she said softly, and finished perching herself in his lap.

His hands strained to break free, to wrap his arms around her and hold her as close as he could, but Yusuke only worried his thumbs against one another as Sae raised herself up on her knees. There was a moment where all he could do was pitch his head up to try and catch her lips, and then his world narrowed to her and her alone as she worked back down. She kissed him before he could do the same when she’d taken him as deeply as she could, hands racing over his body as she started to move. His hands suddenly seemed so very unimportant, and he merely used them to brace himself on the bed as Sae found a rhythm she liked.

A light nibble on his lower lip forced Yusuke to focus rather than get caught in the sensations, and he flitted his tongue out against hers when she pressed forward. One of her hands was cradling his head while the other gripped at his buttocks, holding him as still as could be while she rocked back and forth. All the tension in Yusuke’s body, any concerns that might have been hanging over his head, melted away. How could he worry about anything, how could he presume to think of such lesser concerns, when he was with his wife?

Sae’s hair whirled in an arc as she threw her head back with a happy gasp, and Yusuke was tempted to lie flat and simply let her have her way with him. That wouldn’t do, though. He stayed upright instead, snapping his hips in counter when he could, until it was too much for him. Yusuke’s hands bunched up in the bedspread with a tight, strangled moan, and Sae swept down to kiss him once more as he came undone. Her fingers clawed against him as she worked her hips down, holding him tight through all the little twitches and jerks his body made. She tucked his cheek into the hollow of her throat and pressed her lips softly the top of his head. “Good boy,” Sae said, more than a little shaky herself. “Good boy.”

She reached back to remove the tie around his wrists, checking his hands again before he was able to stretch out the soreness in his arms and wrap them around Sae. “You did so well,” came her soft murmur in his ear, like thick, sweet honey poured into him. Her hand rubbed between his shoulder blades. “Are you feeling all right?”

A slow nod was all he could manage. His thoughts were too scattered to form words, and he doubted if his heavy breaths would have abated long enough to speak them anyway. Still, he had to say something, or she might worry. Yusuke focused and stilled his breathing. “Never better,” he said weakly, and went back to resting in her warmth. His earlier nerves seemed so silly now. She wouldn’t hurt him—she couldn’t. Sae made an acknowledging little sound after several minutes, then slipped off of him with a quick sting of discomfort so she could shuffle him to the other end of the bed. She gathered a few pillows to rest her head and then pulled Yusuke down beside her, curling around him with a contented sigh. His hands trailed over her back, tracing idle lines on her soft, delicate skin. “Happy anniversary.”

He pressed a light kiss to her collarbone as she squeezed around his chest, secure in the knowledge that she would never let him go. “Happy anniversary,” Sae said in turn, absently nuzzling her cheek into his hair.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks very much for reading! If you liked this, you may be interested in some of my other _Persona_ work:
> 
> [A Portrait of the Shogi Player as a Young Woman](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11805870) – Yusuke and Hifumi’s Valentine’s date.
> 
> [Empress’s Justice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15770388) – Haru goes back and finds a fatally wounded Akechi in Shido’s palace.
> 
> [Fool’s Judgment](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14370858/chapters/33177117) – The lead-up to, and aftermath of, Sae’s palace if she and Joker were dating.
> 
> [High Priestess, pǝʇɹǝʌuI](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16708519/chapters/39187396) – Genderswapped (sort of) High Priestess confidant, featuring my rabid little honey badger of a female protagonist, Akane
> 
> [I Guess This Sort of Thing Really Does Happen…](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11855355) – Sae stashes Joker at Kawakami’s place following the interrogation.
> 
> [Our Last Private Moments](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16092479) (Persona 3) – Theo and his guest's last date.
> 
> [Sense Memory](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16536104) – Yusuke, whose world comes to him in impressionistic bursts and flashes, wonders if he's good enough at all to be part of the Phantom Thieves. Shukita.
> 
> [Singles’ Retreat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16556390) – Rather than tag along with any of their friends in relationships, Haru rents out a ryokan for herself, Ryuji and Yusuke for a week. What ever shall they do to keep themselves busy? (Yusuke/Haru/Ryuji, incredibly NSFW)
> 
> [Temperance, pǝʇɹǝʌuI](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15355578/chapters/35631108) – Genderswapped Temperance confidant, featuring a romantic bent and my rabid little honey badger of a female protagonist, Akane.
> 
> [Weekends in Shibuya](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11697408) – A little future Sae/Joker piece I did for a friend when they were sick.


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